Feminist Ink

Stop Violence Against Women

2009-11-25T06:51:00.000-08:00

Today is International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. It begins a 16-day period of activism against Gender Violence. In such a large, global battle, it can be difficult to know where to begin. Luckily, there are organizations out there specifically devoted to these causes. You can see what is being done and add your name to a list of people in support of ending such violence.

Also, after recently reading my January post when Obama came into office, I have become much more active in getting on the phone and calling or writing my state rep. It is so easy to say that we don't have the time or the money or the know-how. However, it doesn't take long, and as a woman, it is my responsibility to actively represent those who cannot, for whatever reason, speak themselves.

White Male Privilege

2009-11-24T13:51:00.000-08:00

I'm sick of it. I've really been examining my own privilege as a white, middle class, hetero female, but I've experienced a lot of the above lately.

Today, I finished teaching classes and walked into the department chair's office. He asked if the student interested in dropping my class had found me. I stated that I had just finished class and that no, I had not. Another instructor said that the student has been there for hours. I advised that had the student checked my schedule, she would have been aware that I was in class. The chair informed me that her father was with me and named the student. I said, "Ah. The student who stopped coming a month into class. Now she wants to drop a week and a half before finals." The instructor stated that he was actually related to the girl and that she had been ill and that she was "just a freshman." I informed him that I had many freshman and that I had talked to other ill students who had dropped in a timely manner. The chair was very supportive and said it was totally up to me as to whether or not I would give her a "Q" or fail her.

I walked back to my office thinking about it as, according to my syllabus and policies, the girl has already failed in my mind. Within minutes, the girl and her father stepped into my office. I invited them to sit. The girl did; the father did not (notice body politics at play here). I advised that she had already failed my class. She explained that she had "messed up" and just wanted another chance. I advised that she could petition for a grade replacement and that it would not affect her GPA if she took it successfully. Her father then broke in, respectfully but forcefully, stating that she was having problems with depression and that he wasn't even aware that she wasn't attending class. Well, a. I don't believe him, and b. it doesn't matter. Figure it out. Get your stuff together. The point, however, is that I signed the drop slip: I signed it with a "Q."

I am furious with myself. I'm angry that another (male) instructor would comment on my policy or the student. I'm angry that the student's father came down here. I'm angry that he tried to play on my sympathies. I'm angry that I gave in. I'm angry that as a young teacher, I felt compelled to give in. I don't like it at all. I'm most upset with myself, but I am also furious that I should have to feel somehow wrong (because her father was there) for wanting to fail her. I'm angry that he came as a white middle class, well-dressed male and laid his privilege out on my desk, and I'm angry that I succumbed to that privilege.

I'm ready for the semester to be over, and I wish I could take it back.

Happy Change Day!

2009-01-20T16:29:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone was able to watch the coverage of the inauguration. What an awe-inspiring day. I'm not even going to mention the minutiae (the word Charles Gibson used, I know, a hundred times) or the posts on Facebook that are extremely negative.

What I want to focus on were the many, many faces of hope today. Tomorrow is a new day and one which Ezra Klein at The American Prospect aptly states will be the realization of Obama, no longer the idea of Obama. I'm excited about that. Mistakes will be made, no doubt; no one could take the highest office in the land and not make a mistake. However, whatever mistakes are made will be by a man of integrity, a man who is not perfect but believes in Americans and that those same Americans can be the change our country needs. He recognizes that not only do we not all look alike, we also think differently, believe differently, have sex differently, and speak differently. I can stand behind a man who understands that and who is willing to include all of us anyway.

I respect this man. I respect the fact that he has ideals. I respect the fact that he is young. I respect that he is (fairly) new to politics. I respect his differences, and I respect his similarities.

I am hopeful. I hope. I'll be the first to say I need to personally put that hope into action. Service, as he said, is what we need. I'm not quite sure how or where to start, but I will make a pledge to serve, to do what I can where I can in order to make our nation a better place to live, love, work, and be happy and free.

Happy Thank God I'm Not a Mother on Mother's Day Day

2008-05-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

I like kids, I do. But after nearly three years of being a dog owner, I think to myself, Golly Gee Whiz, how would I handle a child -one I would have to feed several times a day instead of simply filling a water and food bowl and setting them on the floor of the kitchen; one whose priorities are crying, playing, eating, drinking, snacking, mess-making, talking, rolling on the floor, etc; one whose life would suddenly come before my own. I know I am selfish - I'll be the first to admit it. Plus,how doesanyonehavetime for a child? I barely have time to make it to the gym after work, walk aforementioned dog, eat dinner, shower, and sleep.

So .... to all the mothers out there, including my own: I am impressed. I am quite a bit humbled and a small bit shamefaced for my self-centered ways. Enjoy your day with kids or without.

Dedicated to Joni, a new mom going through quite a bit of hell - and to Sommer and Virginia, expectant, young, kick ass mommies to be.

Southeast Texas Assholery

2008-05-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

Wow. Just wow. Our local paper The Beaumont Enterprise, links to a blog called The Bayou. Now, I do understand this is a blog; however, it is linked to the newspaper. Plus, its daily titles are listed in the Top Headlines section of the Enterprise's website. On Friday, the blogger (who apparently is also the editor of the newspaper), blogged about how 1 in 20 nurses in Texas have criminal histories. This, I don't have such a problem with, although the post and the links pretty much refer to female nurses only.

No, the problem I have is that the title of the post was "Naughty Nurses" with some assholish like addition on the end (I don't remember what it was now, but it was very suggestive). It also had the Blink 182 album cover with the "sexy" nurse posted as the photo to go with the post. Alone, the title is suggestive. With the picture, the post is sexist and offensive. So I posted. If anyone follows up and goes over there, I am anonymous number one as my blogger name wouldn't work when I signed in. Between yesterday and today, there have been 23 other comments. Several were extremely hateful toward my fairly-innocuous comment. Of course, what interested me the most, were the fat girl, lesbian comments. I have never had this personally directed at me, and I guess that just shows how backward my area still is, but I was really really shocked. I responded once I checked back over there today.

I cannot explain why it made me feel so badly, but it did. The comments were just such .... vitriol.

Email the editor/contributor/blogger at TheBayou@BeaumontEnterprise.com.

And We Wonder Why Teachers Are Leaving the Field in Record Numbers

2008-04-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

My mother (and father too actually) is a teacher. She teaches sixth grade and deals with some pretty bratty kids. However, my mom is also an excellent teacher and is usually able to turn even some pretty hardened students around. This year, though, she has one student who has repeatedly given her problems. She has spoken with parents, written notes to teachers, and discussed the situation with her principal. Her male principal typically brushes her off and basically tells her to deal with it herself. Recently, this student has become much worse and has said some pretty inappropriate things to and around my mother. Again, she has taken all available actions to no avail. Her principal most recently told her to think about "the best interest of the student."

Yesterday afternoon she called me, extremely upset because this same student had told an entire classroom (in another teacher's class) that my mother was his lover and that he wasn't supposed to tell. That teacher called my mother to relay the extraordinary story. My mother then called the student's parents and set up a meeting. She also emailed an extremely professional letter to the assistant principal and principal, requesting the student be removed from her class. Both gentlemen told her she was overreacting and that she simply needed to brush the kid off because "everyone knows how he is."

The problems here are numerous; however, I will focus on the ones that upset me the most. First, instead of treating my mother with the respect that she deserves, she was brushed off and told she was overreacting. I do not think, though, in this day and age that it is an overreaction for a teacher to be concerned when a comment like this is made. Unfortunately, if this claim was taken seriously by ANYONE, my mother would be investigated and likely suspended during such investigation. Additionally, this student, even at this tender age, realizes the power that sex has. It got him attention, number one, but I am sure he also knows a comment like that could potentially penalize my mother. To me, however, the actions of the student are secondary to the actions of the administration. Even after the two principals discouraged my mother from taking an action that she is well within her rights to take (asking that he be removed from her classroom), it was only when she brought up the fact that it was harrassment that anything at all was done about it. My mother is in no way litigious, nor is she trying to retaliate against this kid. She simply wanted her very real fears and concerns to be addressed and validated.

What disturbs me the most is that my mother, an extremely independent woman, was made to feel foolish by these two men after already feeling wronged by this male student.

UPDATE: The student was removed from her classroom and will be dealt with accordingly. In other news, Mom is looking for a job!

Wow! I Can't Believe This Is Texas.

2007-02-02T14:04:00.000-08:00

I was just surprised and a little bit pleased that Governor Rick Perry (Gov. Good Hair, as Molly Ivins called him) "signed an order today making Texas the first state to require that schoolgirls get vaccinated against the sexually transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer." Read the full article. The vaccine is Gardasil, a product by Merck that prevents human papillomavirus, HPV, as it is commonly referred to.

There has been much discussion over the vaccine on various blogs; in fact, there was just one on feministing yesterday with many people extremely upset over the government's intervention. This is a complex issue because I agree with some of the arguments, i.e. the government is putting the burden of protection on women, forceable vaccination, unknown long-term effects.

The article I've linked to also discusses Perry's ties to Merck, which makes me a bit suspicious as well in that the article says that one of the company's lobbyists in Texas is Mike Toomey, former chief of staff. I don't like such dealings when it comes to government. I like a government that has my best interests at heart.

However, I am also pleased that Perry went against the conservative right who argue that the vaccine will encourage and condone premarital sex and "interfere with the way parents raise their children." My response to that is twofold: It's just a vaccine. You're not handing the girl a dildo and condoms and shoving them at boys. Second, what about other vaccines that children are required to receive? Does that "interfere with the way parents raise their children"? Even if an individual is a virgin at marriage, (although according to recent reports, that is rare) - the disease can still be contracted from the other partner. Wise up. If you care so much about your child, care about their health.

So yea! Texas. I can't believe we were the first.

[Update: Additionally, those parents that would like to opt out of the vaccination may do so by filing an affidavit objecting to the vaccine (AP) so really there should be no reason for such complaints.]

Satire Is Traditionally the Weapon of the Powerless Against the Powerful

2007-02-01T07:54:00.000-08:00

I'd argue, however, that Molly Ivins was hardly powerless. The woman was a force to be reckoned with, and she has died. I am not the wordsmith she was so I will mostly let her own words speak for herself. I must say, though, what I most admire about Molly Ivins and her Molly-isms was her superior ability to state things just as she saw fit.

A friend says I need to rename my blog, Cooky Liberal Ink, and maybe I shall, but at the moment it will remain Feminist Ink because I am a feminist just as much as I am a cooky liberal. I say this, not to draw focus away from this disjointed memorial, but to attempt to emulate what I think Molly Ivins was: a woman who said what she believed and believed what she said.

As she once said, "You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to." For a long time, I stayed silent because I felt ignorant in matters political, but again Ivins says, "I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth." So this blog is my attempt to educate myself, my attempt to break away at the lies that cloud the truth.

One of the last columns Ivins wrote was about this war that I desperately believe we should abandon, and the words which she uses are words of revolution, calling people to action: This is our government. We have spoken; we don't believe in this war. Read the rest of the article here. She is correct in that we have a need in this country, a need for a true leader, a need for a true focus on our future. Again, in her words, "It's about political courage and heroes, and when a country is desperate for leadership. There are times when regular politics will not do, and this is one of those times. There are times a country is so tired of bull that only the truth can provide relief."

Molly Ivins was such a leader. She may not have been an elected official, but she was a leader in politics who still retained her southern roots and "was known for hosting unforgettable parties at her Austin home .... [where] her dining table was littered with various awards and distinguished speaker plaques, put to use as trivets for steaming plates of tamales, chili and fajita meat .... 'Well, what else am I going to do with 'em?'" she would say. She was an intelligent, well spoken, humble, funny woman who will be missed by many.

Late Friday Afternoon Humor

2007-01-26T13:21:00.000-08:00

In case New Yorkers need a subway map and a pickup line, this article describes new condoms the health department is considering ordering: "an offical New York condom in a jazzy wrapper, perhaps one printed with a colorful subway map or some other city theme."

Prize to the best pickup line.....

Girls Get Pissed About Girls Gone Wild

2007-01-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, Doug Stanhope, a comedian who formerly worked with Girls Gone Wild creator, Joe Francis, will be in Beaumont, Texas this weekend. I keep hearing about him on the radio, and of course, the announcers are giving away tickets and hyping him up. That's why I was more than pleased this morning to read this article in the Beaumont Enterprise showing area women who are less than pleased about this guy and his association with the videos.

Jennifer Fagen, an assistant professor in the department of sociology, social work and criminal justice at Lamar, said the videos take advantage of young women who already feel a need to fit in with sexual stereotypes. While she's not opposed to women being sexual subjects - that is, acting sexually on their own terms, with their own control - the "Girls Gone Wild" girls often are intoxicated, Fagen said, and that's unfair. "I think (series founder Francis is) taking advantage of young girls who do nothave the capacity to consent," she said.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Plus, I'm glad that area girls aren't as excited about the videos as mainstream media would allow you to think. Girls Gone Wild did make an appearance in Beaumont several years back, and girls were EXCITED about it. That's why I like hearing that not all the younger generation in Texas thinks this way.

I also like that Stanhope made himself look, well, not so bright:

Stanhope said he finds the videos exploitative but also said they feed on a society that already degrades women. He pointed to laws that prohibit women, but not men, from going shirtless, as restrictions that encourage women to feel shameful about their bodies. "It was a lark," he said. "I just went out for a week's worth of nights and made fun of dumb chicks at last call."

I think Dougie here just wants to see some boobies. Good thing Beaumont just finished a Hooters eatery.

WASP-y Men of the Square Table

2007-01-24T06:56:00.000-08:00

As if we didn't already know white men are the most privileged demographic in America, Miller decided to throw it in our faces a bit more with their new Man Laws ad campaign. Just in case you didn't know what a "real" man is, these guys are here to tell you. Spouting such crap as "A real man never asks for help opening his Miller" and listing violations from across the country, Miller is just reinforcing gender stereotypes. The commercial itself shows a group of white men (with maybe one token black guy) sitting at a square table, completely isolated from the outside world. The cowboy's chick comes to the window, scantily clad, and all the guys excuse him because, you know, the only thing more manly than sitting around dictating social policy with other men is getting some. So that's ok.

A better Miller commercial and ad principle in general: NOT LIMITING AND DEFINING YOUR CONSUMER BY SUCH NARROW MARGINS. But, you know, what do I know? I'm just a woman.

The American Dream: Have It All, Do It All, and Still Have Perfect Hair

2007-01-23T12:28:00.000-08:00

I just realized this morning that I had abandoned my daily dose of Slate so I clicked over there this afternoon and found this little gem. In the article about the Today show extending its time by an additional hour, author Troy Patterson point out that the Today show will simply extend its third-hour programming into its fourth hour. The first two hours, apparently are devoted to "news." (I use the term lightly, these days). The next two hours are more like "a lifestyle magazine."

This is not the salon of Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira, with
its intrusions of politics and war, but rather a romper room for the ceaselessly
jovial weatherman Al Roker, the peerlessly blow-dried correspondent Natalie
Morales, and Ann Curry, who shucks off the newsreader's role she inhabits
earlier in the show to help prepare easy meals.

I, for one, watched quite a bit of the Today show this past summer when I didn't have to be at work until 10 a.m. I worked out in the mornings, came home to shower, and blow-dried my own hair while watching the various pretty people they parade onto the Today show. I should beashamed of myself, I know. It's interesting, though, to see how they package the show. As Patterson puts it, the show preaches that "despite the odds, the postmodern homemaker can have it all."

This is just such a dangerous assumption. I mention this book quite a bit, but The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women by Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels, discusses this issue in depth. It's the rise of the super mommies: women who work and are successful, still spend ample time with their children, are a perfect size 6, exercise daily, cook homemade meals, still have time to spend with their husbands, have a great sex life, and do all of the above while wearing a brilliant, Crest Whitestrips smile. This is what society's "feminism" has turned into - the freedom to do what you like, as long as you meet xyz and abc criteria. This, I believe, is why we still see so many angry anti-feminists; they see the freedoms that women enjoy without seeing the pitfalls women encounter to this day.

Patterson mentions in his article that Al Roker recently had a spot with the editor of Men's Health on Balancing Family and Work, which I think is laudable in that it wasn't yet another ploy telling women that if they only did more chores before going to bed or upon waking, they would have so much more time to spend getting ready and enjoying the mornings with their families (you know you've seen that kind of thing). Check out every women's magazine; you'll see something along those lines. So I do give props where they're due, but as Patterson points out, the Today show is aimed at the homemaker, and in this day and age, that is still a predominantly female role.

You just have to love that title, too: The Perkiness Never Stops. It's oh so scary.

Their/They're/There

2007-01-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

Over the next few weeks, I will be working deliriously in order to finish The Thesis. I attended a thesis workshop yesterday afternoon, during which someone from the graduate office hands out various forms and information, tells you about all the deadlines, scares you to death, and then sends you on your way, worrying about the fact that you will not, in fact, graduate. My favorite part of the whole workshop: I was handed a one-page listing of Common Errors in Grammar. I am a graduate student in English; should I be offended?

If I become too engrossed in my own turmoil throughout this process, feel free to point out my narcissistic ways - or just send me a bottle of wine or some chocolate.

I Defer To Those With Much Better Posts...

2007-01-22T11:13:00.000-08:00

Click this link to be linked to other great links with great thoughts on great posts about great people who are pro-choice.

I know that sounds as if I make light of this topic. I don't. Read them. They're great, thought-provoking, and well written.

Blog for Choice Day

2007-01-22T08:00:00.001-08:00

Blog for Choice Day
Originally uploaded by jenniek_ns.

Wow. I didn't realize how difficult it would be to do this until I just faced the empty text box. Difficult because I was raised Catholic and until several years ago was anti-choice. In fact, I still don't like the idea of abortion. Several years ago on my college campus, however, there was a group of pro-lifers with enormous photos of aborted fetuses. I was nauseated and disgusted. More than that, though, I felt assaulted. Who were these people who came on campus, assaulting students with images meant to manipulate and incite people? I was mad, but more than that, it made me think about abortion.

In a perfect world, I guess, there would be no abortion. Women wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant if they had no desire to be. Women wouldn't be raped or abused. Women wouldn't be treated differently at a job if they had a child. Men would also be responsible, physically and financially, for that child. Women would have a support system if they decided to be single mothers.

But we don't live in a perfect world. I can't say as to whether or not I'd ever have an abortion. I've never been pregnant.

But mostly, and to echo feministing.com because they put it so eloquently, I trust women. I trust myself to know whether or not I am making a good decision or a bad one. I trust the women I know to make the best decisions for themselves. I trust women. I trust that if a friend gets pregnant, it is her body, her choice, her decision to make. I trust that it may be an easy decision or a difficult one, but it is one that she alone can make.

Addendum: I never stated why I particularly am pro choice. I am pro choice because if I were pregnant, whether it be by a boyfriend, a one-night stand, a rapist - my life as I know it would end. And at 25, I don't know that I like this ending.

A Woman's Marriage Bed - How Many Evils Has It Brought On Mankind

2007-01-18T08:49:00.000-08:00

I don't blame you if you don't catch that one. Medea - Euripides. I'm knee deep in thesis work so excuse the lack of blogging lately. If anyone has a great passion for Medea and wants to chat, let me know. It's an interesting, disturbing text - well before she takes the sword to her children.

Violence in women - Topic for today. I watched the CBS Evening News last night with Katie Couric, and she discussed the "disturbing trend" of girl fights. Girl fights have increased by 24% apparently since 1995, while boy fights have decreased by 18%. (Notice no exact numbers were given so the increase doesn't necessarily mean there are more girl fights than boy fights, simply that there are more girl fights than there used to be. Also notice, this does not include inter-gender violence.) Viewers were warned that there were going to be "upsetting" images flashed across the scene.

Note: I'm not attempting to discount the horrible fact that these girls are taping fights where one girl is targeted and beat up by multiple others and then posting these tapes on the internet. However, there was a discussion last week at feministing.com about how the media helps to propagate gender differences, and I think this is yet another way it is done.

Having said that, the author of the book See Jane Hit (Garbarino) appeared on the news, stating that for once, girls are realizing that they don't have to follow such gender-specific guidelines.

"It's very clear that girls are being told, 'Even good girls hit,'" Garbarino
told CBS News. "It's not surprising that some of them are taking that to
dangerous extremes."

Girls are no longer being told, "Nice girls don't hit." Part of me wonders if this trend is in response to that. These girls are growing up in a generation that is more aware that girls don't have to like pink and sit quietly in the background and let boys answer all the questions and get into the playground fights.

With, Let's Face It, A Bit Of A Crush Now Really

2007-01-16T13:34:00.000-08:00

I agree with feministing.com. This guy, Spain's Justice Minister, is extremely crushworthy. You can read the full article here, but when the Saudi government wouldn't allow women journalists into a men's only university, he refused to appear. Instead, he sent his speech while voicing his disapproval.

Muy impresivo. I have several feminist male friends, and I appreciate them all. However, I also know that it's pretty rare to find such a man who will stand up for women's rights. It's so much easier just to let it slide or give the speech, but Fernando Aguilar did not. I, for one, am glad.

So There is a Purpose for Girl Babies After All

2007-01-12T11:33:00.000-08:00

But only when it is realized that the men won't have any women to marry. This article is interesting. I guess all those years of privileging the male do have drawbacks. These guys better hold off on the soy as well, or China could really be in for trouble.

Please, please sense the sarcasm, and don't send mean comments...

I Think It's a Clue!

2007-01-12T07:56:00.001-08:00

Nancy Drew
Originally uploaded by Flame's.

Last night, I finished an absolutely wonderful book: Melanie Rehak's Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her.

I had picked it up when I was taking an independent study last year in Women's Lit. Of course, I was broke then and working feverishly to put out nearly 50 pages in research papers so I wasn't able to pick it up. But, now it's in paperback, and it's marvelous.

It's really a biography of the two women behind Nancy Drew, and it juxtaposes Nancy with her writers and the backstory of how it all got started. Harriet Stratemeyer Adams, daughter of the man who created the idea of Nancy because girls were less interested in "niceties and more about being brave and adventurous", picks up the business after her father's death and becomes instrumental in Nancy's success. Mildred Wirt, an intrepid young woman from Iowa, begins the stories and becomes Carolyn Keene, and the series became the most endearing and well-beloved in juvenile fiction. Rehak discusses the reasons behind this as well as the women themselves, who were much like independent Nancy Drew.

Rehak opens her book with the line, "Grab your magnifying glass, because this is a mystery story." I personally was transported back to the days when my mother would beg me not to read in the dark, as I could not put the book down. Rehak does a wonderful job in marrying history, non fiction, and bits and pieces from the actual novels to create a book that is extremely readable and enjoyable.

What's best - it points out what we as girls dreamt of: being independent, brave, and intriguing. As one critic put it, once the television version of Nancy tanked for slightly altering the characters: "You don't make a female character strong by playing her opposite a buffoon. You just make her strong..."

I think that may just be the best clue of all...

Because Apparently You're Only a Real Blogger When You Post a Pic of Your Pet

2007-01-10T14:08:00.000-08:00

Don't judge me because I own the most adorable little dog you've ever seen. Yes, she's precious. Yes, she's a Yorkie. No, she's not yappie. Amazingly enough, if you raise them not to be yappie, they're not. Simple as that. But since I am constantly seeing pictures of cats and other bloggers' pets, I figured why not? Plus, it still relates to feminism. I get judged because I own a cute little dog. Really. I know. You feel so sorry for me, right?

Just for Fun

2007-01-10T13:59:00.000-08:00

I wish they had a more expanded selection, but this website is still pretty fun.

I'm on a roll today.

This, This Right Here

2007-01-10T13:33:00.000-08:00

This article is partially why I'm a feminist. In one of the many feminist blogs this past week, someone posted a comment that women are much to quick to call a man a stalker these days. I can't find the comment, but the commenter said that excessive phone calls are just a sign of "interest."

Having been the victim of - count it - more than one stalking episode, let's just say STOP IT. If I state that I am not interested, the phone calls need to stop (especially when I didn't give you the phone number in the first place). If a woman doesn't know who you are and you follow her, it's not ok. It's not healthy interest.

Healthy interest: speaking to a woman. Asking for her phone number (instead of finding it through alternative means or asking a friend). Introducing yourself. Knowing when to stop.

I think it's an interesting dichotomy that women are considered "crazy," "psychotic," and "deranged" so easily but men are "showing interest." Bull shit. It's scary, and it's wrong. And, as the chief of police in my city has told me, as he was part of the sex crimes division, this behavior typically escalates. In lesser instances, it causes women to screen each and every phone call. In other cases, it causes women to constantly check over their shoulders and walk to their vehicles with mace in hand. In sad and horrible instances, such as the linked article, it can end in murder.

Think about it the next time you dismiss stalking as "showing interest."

Take it off, take it all off

2007-01-10T13:16:00.000-08:00

I honestly don't know how I missed this article in the Beaumont Enterprise today. Thanks to an anonymous friend for the tip. It covers the new craze of strip aerobics and the arrival of such exercise in southeast Texas. I can't quite wrap my mind around this one.

As the teacher of the class at World Gym says, "It's about doing something for yourself and feeling sexy," said Henson, who has taught the class about five months. "It's OK to move your body and have fun."

Ah, ok. And even some of the students have said that it has given them a better perspective on their own bodies, learning that regardless of looks, women can feel sexy, placing the emphasis internally instead of externally. I guess something that does that is pretty darn great.

I'm sure there are many opinions to the alternative, but in this era of self-loathing, the results of the class sound pretty good. Of course, I'm not sure that this is the way to go. Any takers?

************************************************************************************

Also, as an aside, feministe had a really great post and thread yesterday regarding self image. Since self image is something that I think both women and men are so screwed up about, it may interest you.

If you have any information...

2007-01-09T09:02:00.000-08:00

I recently have heard of an alarming story that occurred at Lamar University in Beaumont, Texas. The following text is from a friend, Ofelia Adame. She posted this on her myspace last month:

"Thought you guys might want to know about this since it probably will not be in the news.Yesterday (12/11/06) around 12:30 in the afternoon, a woman was found at the bottom of the Library's 3rd floor landing. I know this because a classmate of mine was the person to discover her. My classmate had been studying with a group in one of the rooms on that floor. Two adjacent rooms were occupied when this happened. Both rooms did note loud noises coming from the stairway but they said that it seemed to sound like people running up and down on the stairs. Both rooms assumed people from the opposite room were the culprits. Eventually, my classmate went the bathroom (as we know the stairway doors are located right next to the woman's restroom) and, looking through the staircase door window as she passed it, saw a purse lying on the ground. Upon further investigation she discovered the woman at the bottom of the steps.It looked as if she had fallen from the 3rd floor and landed between the 3rd and 2nd floor staircase, which later on proved to be false. She was unconscious when she was discovered. After a bit of time she gained consciousness momentarily and pronounced that she had been attacked. Her attacker had grabbed her from behind and dragged her to the 3rd floor landing and raped her. Once he was finished he then threw her down the stairs. She suffered a broken shoulder, arm, 5 broken ribs, and a concussion. It is suspected that the attacker was hidden on the stairs out of sight, as anyone who has taken the stairs knows that there is a space there that someone could easily hide in unnoticed.While the woman was receiving medical attention, students noticed a suspicious man lurking around the book stacks. Someone walked over and made eye contact with him and he quickly pulled his cap down over his eyes and headed to the elevator. The campus police were notified of this as the suspicious character seemed to get in line to check out a book. The police then said they would let him check out the book and get his name from the circulation desk. With one person in front of him, he suddenly walked out of line and exited the library and got away, unquestioned.I've been told that this is the third rape to occur in the Library staircase this year but it seems that these stories have been kept out of the media. I guess it would be bad PR."

I have since contacted all news outlets, searched websites and archives and been completely unable to find any information on this assault. I am currently on the phone with the Lamar University Police Department who confirms that there was an incident in the stairwell. Lieutenant Baddey (sp?) told me that a girl was in the stairwell on the fourth floor and felt someone touch her left shoulder but before she could turn to see, she fell down the stairs to the second floor. This differs quite a bit from the story I have heard thus far. However, I will continue to dig to find out the truth behind this incident.

On one hand, if the girl simply fell, I feel badly for her and hope she recovers. If, on the other hand, she was assaulted and raped and the university is covering it up for the sake of bad publicity, rest assured, I will cover it here.

In the meantime, if you have any actual information related to this event, please email me or leave a comment. Thanks.

But Mom, I Promise I'll Clean It Up

2007-01-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

My apartment is a wreck. However, an article in today's Houston Chronicle tells me not to be worried about my apartment's state of disarray. Abrahamson and Freedman, authors of A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder "claim that if you're the type of person who is moderately disorganized — that is, you tend to scatter things, mix things around, let things pile up, do things out of order, be inconsistent and wing it — you're probably more efficient, resilient, creative and in general more effective than someone who is highly organized."

Well, of course, I am. I'll have to read the book (I'll add it to the list of many) and then let you know what I think, but at the moment, I am reminded of two young boys rapidly shoving clothes and toys under the bed and in the closets and then pointing to their Crayon drawings on the walls in their bedroom.

My favorite Crayon is cerulean. I'm about to go to town on the walls of my cubicle as my desk is also a wreck, and I have not felt the least creative today...

don't take my word for it

2007-01-03T09:21:00.001-08:00

"the new feminism"
Originally uploaded by beavers abroad.

take theirs.

ignorance is no longer a good excuse.

Rockabye baby

2007-01-03T08:41:00.000-08:00

Pandagon is my new favorite blogs - ok, one of my new favorite blogs, but this post is just one of the reasons why.

They link to a book Wake Up, Little Susie by Rickie Solinger, which is now on my wish list as I am poor after Christmas. The book discusses reproduction and mental illness in women - which is exactly what my thesis is about. So read up, friends, it's good stuff and makes you think long and hard about the plight of women.

This, of course, leads me to an aside. The more vocal I have become in my beliefs lately, the more strange looks I get from family and friends. I understand what they're thinking - I am a twentysomething white woman. Do I really have it that bad? Yes and no. But in true feminist spirit, the more correct answer is - Yes, it is bad, and until all women have the privileges that I do - and more - I will continue to educate myself and others as much as possible. This isn't the Brangelina pact, 'I won't marry until everyone can marry' (although I like the idea, but just as all the other celebrity couples, they have been over-commercialized), but it is called solidarity. Solidarity - something I believe we are too much without these days.

So I apologize for the aside but not the meaning and sentiment behind it. Have a great day. And check out Pandagon.

I always knew it....

2006-12-29T09:40:00.000-08:00

Katharine Hepburn
You scored 14% grit, 23% wit, 57% flair, and 19% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Under the weather...

2006-12-29T09:01:00.001-08:00

My Old Medicine bottle/ jar collection
Originally uploaded by aussiegall.

I promise I'll return, wittier than ever, and hopefully before the new year.

If not, here's hoping this is one damn good year. The ending of 2006 isn't looking too promising.

Out out damn strep!

2006-12-27T08:21:00.000-08:00

I, the invincible, the healthy, the girl who possibly hates doctors more than anyone you know, willingly went to the doctor yesterday. I have ... strep throat.

If I make it, I will repost once I feel better.

Ma'am, excuse me, sir, put your feet in the stirrups...

2006-12-21T07:35:00.000-08:00

So here's an update on the Indian runner who may be stripped of a medal after undergoing a gender test. In case you've never heard of a gender test or are curious as to what it entails, check out the article from slate.com. I thought going to the gynecologist was pretty darn invasive, but this takes the cake.

I can't quite wrap my mind around this. I know there's more than one angle to this, but for some reason, I'm curious as to others' opinions. To me, gender should not have to be proven. If someone is living as a woman and competes as a woman, why should there be any question of that person's gender? Isn't this a problem?

It reminds me of Judith Butler's Gender Troubles and the fluidity of gender. However, I'm not the most knowledgeable about gender and am completely open to other conversations about this.

update

2006-12-20T14:33:00.000-08:00

now they're taking them for drinks and paying them EXTRA!!!

is this right?

ho hum

2006-12-20T13:15:00.000-08:00

Ok so I hate my job, but probably not for the reason most people hate their jobs. I hate my job because my boss doesn't work, which means, as his secretary, I never have work to do. Thus, the blog. Oh ho, you might say. No work to do? Sounds ideal.

Alas, you have never met me. The me who must constantly be busy or have an already large guilt complex expand to monumental proportions. I read stories of people addicted to the internet - I have become one of them. I have read about loss of employee productivity. That's me. WHY WON'T HE WORK?

And when he does (rarely), he barks at me. I should mention he's diminutive, and I tower over him. So he slams open doors and barks orders at me. Usually I bark right back, which makes our working relationship a mixture of grunts, barks, and murmurs. It's quite lovely really.

Today, however, the entire office but me and our clerk are out of the office, together, working. Why am I left behind? They say it's because they need someone else to be in the office, but believe me, it's not true. There isn't that much that goes on here. (Oh, I miss my old job).

I feel like I am in a bad high school movie. I probably sound like it too. Sorry for the completely uneducational post, but there are so many things I could be doing instead of sitting here, blogging and looking at every possible website I can imagine. I am so up on current events it's unbelievable. Need to know a good site for last-minute gifts? I've probably got dozens.

I'm boooooored. And I'm done. Peace.

Boy Girl Boy Girl Boy

2006-12-18T08:56:00.000-08:00

I'm not quite sure what this is all about. The only info I can find says exactly the same thing as this article.

If anyone has more information, please feel free to let me know.

I have been reading a book of essays Women on Ice by Cynthia Baughman. In it, there are several essays discussing gender testing. I think this is extremely odd. I'm not quite sure what the line on this particular instance is yet, but I'm curious.

As an aside, the book discusses the dichotomy of feminine/sports skaters, using Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan as examples. It's a really interesting book in that it uses ice skating to really look into the embedded sex/role issues facing women and men and the ramifications of those roles/characteristics.

But, like I said, if you have anything to add, please do so.

The Book That Launched a Thousand Queries...

2006-12-13T12:24:00.000-08:00

I'll have to review the book before I give an official opinion, but I found this interesting as I was trolling sites today. The attached article, by Emily Wilson, is somewhat paltry, but the book does sound intriguing:

Dalby writes in Rediscovering Homer, that Homer was possibly a woman:

"... Dalby deploys a much stronger set of arguments for female authorship, based on comparative anthropological analysis of how women preserve songs, stories, and folk tales. Women are often the ones who retain linguistic and literary traditions for the longest time. Certainly, there is no evidence whatsoever of female epic poets in archaic Greece. When poets are described or alluded to in the Homeric poems themselves, they are always men. This fact alone makes Dalby's hypothesis implausible. On the other hand, there certainly were female lyric poets—Sappho, for example."

This passage seems a bit contradictory to me, which is precisely why I'd like to review the book and share my opinions. Of course, I'm broke at the moment so I'll have to find it at the library or ask for it for Christmas. But once I read it, I'll share...

Water Water Everywhere...

2006-12-12T08:41:00.000-08:00

In southeast Texas where I live, there has recently been much talk about our ancient obscentity law. Granted, much of this law has to do with minors and is vastly important. However, as southeast Texans have seen recently, the extent of the law encompasses much more than simply protecting minors.

On October 25, 2006, police raided three separate locations that were rumored to sell pornographic films and sex toys. One of these stores, Bare Necessities, is a novelty shop that the writer has actually, on occasion, entered. The first time, even at age 22, there was much giggling and pointing going on. A friend and I had gone in order to find a Halloween costume and were treated with quite an array of "goodies". However, we were asked how old we were and although much of the store contained blatantly sexual wares, most were not "offensive" (in the sense that I was not offended. I understand that "offensive" items are highly subjective).

The first portion of the Texas statute specifically deals with items for adults, i.e. anything that stimulates arousal. It goes on to list reading materials, films, and false genetalia as the offensive items that it is actually a misdemeanor to buy or to sell.

I find this extremely interesting and yet another way that our government is intimately involved in our intimate lives and yet another way that government is also highly selective. The strip clubs and bars dotting a specific roadway in southeast Texas have remained open (keep in mind that these are specifically oriented to men's sexual arousal). There have been no raids for these locales that exploit women, these very public places that exhibit women in various erotic states. Yet, sex toys, have been banned. Those toys/films/creams, etc. which are meant for the privacy of the bedroom, kitchen, or wherever you ladies or couples choose to use them, have been banned.

Books-a-Million and Barnes & Noble beware: romance novels are next. Forget Dream Street and The Plantation and all those other strip clubs, the mega-bookstore's romance aisles are next on the list for Texas law enforcement agencies.

Something Disturbing to Start the Day Off

2006-12-08T07:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.proana.us/

Wow. Guess there really are websites for everything. Pro-eating disorder websites. This is sickening on so many, many levels. Also, check out the HATE column. As I don't really hate anyone, I think it's a little much, but I just love seeing so many mixed metaphors, illogical, and completely irrational arguments.

I like how in one breath they compare eating disorders to cancer and in the next, describe how getting help is "not that simple." Well, of course, it's not simple. Chemo isn't simple either. But now I'm mixing things around.

Check it out.

Why I Don't Go Out

2006-12-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

Scenario: Local bar/hot spot on karaoke night. Ok. Various people singing after consuming alcoholic beverages. Ok. Even funny. Girl getting on stage bending over and grabbing her ankles for a guy to smack her ass with a paddle. Not ok. The fact that this bar endorsed this? Not ok.

Between that and various nefarious men (I know it rhymes), I decided I now understand my hatred of nights out on the town.

Thanks to TJ, Pouncy, and Shawn for helping out and showing a girl a good time with decent guys!

Yet More Marginalization

2006-12-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

This article is also noted on feministing, which I usually find to be a very astute and open minded blog. However, I think that they fail to really analyze this article. They point out that the article states that underweight women have a higher chance of miscarriage. Ok, so that's great. Body image. Don't worry about weighing a flat 100 pounds.

But... the article goes on to say this:

Women who aren't married, women who are living with a partner, and women who have had terminated pregnancies are also at higher risk of miscarriage.

This was a survey of 6600 women ages 18-55. I don't know enough about science, but once again, this seems to me to reinforce the ideology that women must abide by certain social rules or risk losing a baby. The guilt factor. Along with this, I'd say this is pretty darn damning evidence.

Along with the idea that women are to blame for most things, you're also to blame if you lose a baby. This is such bullshit, I feel. Of course, I've never endured it, but I'd say that losing a baby is pretty much a difficult-enough experience without factoring in the government and science trying to tell you that the reason you lost your baby was one of any number of things YOU are responsible for. Wow.

Any Other Name...

2006-12-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

I think that in the wake of recent racist comments by public figures, more needs to be said than simply - "These guys are assholes."

I think that as much as we try to tell one another that these names are simply words, somewhere along the way, we forgot to tell ourselves that words to us, are everything. Ask anyone on the street about the popular Verizon commercials, and they'll tell you about the ad campaign "Can you hear me now?" Or Nike's legendary "Just do it." Words are influencial. Beyond simply brands, words can incite, insult, and inflame.

I've attached an article that was in the Houston Chronicle today by John Lopez, and it's a pretty great article, but I'd like to extend it some. Yes, racial slurs are awful - any type, and I'm not trying to lessen their negative impact on society and its individuals. However, I would like to add - because I've seen several blogs dealing with this sort of thing - the c-word and "bitch" are also very denigrating to women. Many of the feminist websites I visit daily are in the habit of offhandedly calling one another bitches or addressing the readers as bitches.

It's not ok. It's not funny. It's demeaning, and it encourages others to use the titles as well. Read the article. Lopez argues his point very well, I believe.

So - stop it. I think we, as women and individuals, have enough to face without lowering ourselves to the ranks of others who use these words to degrade us.

Wish I Had to Worry About Making Too Much Money...

2006-12-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

I find this a really interesting article. It discusses women as breadwinners, and more than that, as pretty primary breadwinners. The article is interesting in that many of these women, although having achieved career and financial success, still feel that they must be the master of the domestic world too.

I am curious, as I have no husband or children, how many women out there feel like this. Also, what is the men's take on this? The article really doesn't address this at all. For instance, why isn't Beth or Anna or whoever's husband taking responsibility for chores if he's home all day? And even if he's home all day - why does he expect his wife to take care of the chores?

I think it's fascinating that in this day and age, with all the advances we have made, that it still comes down to a fight about chores. When the article discusses this (although I know this is a big deal in marriages and can cause much resentment), I felt like we needed to write a chart out for the two and put stars by their names and the chores for which each is responsible. Childish? Yes. Why is it that society and many men (I'll try not to make generalizations) expect a career woman to succeed in addition to her domestic duties? Why is she tied to her home and children as a measure of success?

This is dangerous territory. It lends much to the current trend of blaming the mother, as a figure in society, for the ills of the children. Make it stop.

And put up a chore chart.

Great Quote Tie-In

2006-12-06T13:55:00.001-08:00

Wit has truth in it ... wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words. - Dorothy Parker

Ha Ha Ha ... Not

2006-12-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

Check this out.

I think this guy's crazy because let me tell you, I have gotten quite a few laughs out of this article.

What's your take?

First blog after redesign

2006-12-06T12:03:00.000-08:00

Ok. So over the last few months I've decided to take this nearly-dead blog into new territory. Joining others who so intelligently have started a forum for young feminists to speak, I am opening up this blog for topics that interest young women - and men. If you have suggestions, feel free to email me or leave comments.

Thanks for stopping by.

2004-07-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

For Matt - Sorry no previous descriptions of the books. Adrienne recommended The Rapture of Canaan. It was a really interesting book. It went into religion and the extremes of doctrine, belief, church law. The narrator was a young girl within the religion who experiences the religion from childhood and begins to question its validity.

Back When We Were Grownups has the greatest first line. This is why I bought it: "Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person." A great tale discussing the past, our decisions, our feelings about those decisions, and in general, people who think too damn much. No, really, it was a great book.

As for the last one, Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, it is told from the viewpoint of an autistic boy. Sounds very Faulkner, but the story is carried in such a way that it comes to term through a consistent narrator.

Enough of that. Today, I woke up still ill and decided to treat myself to a day of rest. Somehow, rest is not very restful. I kept thinking of other things I needed to do and regretting that I did not have the energy to do them. So I watched several movies on TV, cursing the commercials and then watched a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit marathon. It was great fun. Now, I am thoroughly paranoid, glancing behind my back for psychos every few minutes, but I am no nearer sleep. 11:25 p.m. I have to work tomorrow. Not a good situation.

Yesterday, as promised, I went to Houston to check out the Diane Arbus exhibit. If you don't know anything about her, find out more. She is a fascinating character, and once again, I am astounded at how the arts seem to meld into one another. A photographer with a great grasp of the English language, her journals and correspondence were just as enthralling as her bold, staccato photographs. Thanks to a great friend (Keith) for loaning me a book before I went so that I could study her life in detail and really grasp her images. Immediately, upon leaving the gallery, I wished I had my camera. I want to make pictures. I have a desire to find my own eye within that elusive lens, as she would say.

I also attempted some lighter galleries with a friend. There were several openings on Art Row on Lake Street near Rice Village. These galleries were handing out the wine, sparkling water, and expensive, not-so-great art. Although, there were a couple winners among the rubbish. Basically, however, it was a lot of wealthy people with no taste and more interest in who was in attendance than who the artist happened to be. I got a migraine and left before they could nauseate me further.

The rich get richer, and the poor make art....

2004-07-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

Check out these books I read this week:

The Rapture of Canaan - Sheri ?
Back When We Were Grownups - Anne Tyler
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon

(I am horrible at remembering names so look up the titles).

Will blog more later.

2004-07-09T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well, let's see. Where were we? Yesterday I had a migraine and slept 12 hours. Today, I am just coughing. Guess we'll take it. But, I am going to enjoy my weekend, sick or not. Tomorrow, I am going to Houston to check out the Diane Arbus photography exhibit and a couple of gallery openings. I am really excited.

I have also come to the conclusion that I am an awful friend. Two of my friends called me today and left messages on my voicemail. I didn't feel up to doing anything tonight because of my summer cold, but instead of having to call and tell anyone no, I just didn't call. I know it's horrible. I know I should behave better than that. It's just that I always feel so guilty telling people no. And it never fails that when one friend calls with plans, two more will call in the subsequent ten minutes. One weekend, no phone calls. The next, I have five different offers. That's when I shut down. No phone calls returned. My voicemail wasn't working, I claim. My phone died, and I couldn't find my charger. Awful, horrible - yes, these are the adjectives to describe my behavior. I just can't help it.

I think part of the problem is that I have a couple friends who never seem to care. You're sick? Ah well, let's talk for an hour even though you are coughing. You're eating? I'll keep you company.

To those friends, I say: Leave me alone. Be courteous. Help end my aversion to the telephone by not calling me. I have good-telephone friends; I have horrific telephone friends. The good ones know better. They keep me on the line for a couple minutes before ending saying, "I don't want to keep you," or "I know you hate being on the phone for a long time." To those friends, thank you.

You will never know how appreciated you are.

Do I bitch too much? I don't want to be a soapbox blogger, a bitchy blogger, who airs her grievances on the internet.

So I will end with a nice, quaint, endearing story. My mother knew I was sick so she made homemade vegetable soup (my favorite). My dad rented my favorite childhood video North Avenue Irregulars. We ate and watched TV, and they both kissed me and sent me back to my apartment with food for the weekend.

See - I tried sweet. Boring. (Although sincere thanks to mom and dad). I promise to be wiser, more intelligent sounding, even thought-provoking tomorrow. The art galleries will do my talking.

Sweet dreams, everyone.

2004-07-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I was supposed to go see a movie tonight: The Terminal. What if that movie had been named The Airport? Ah, the power of words. Anyway, I am sick and am not going. I think I have a summer cold. I am sneezing, and my voice sounds like Dianna Krall. Normally, I would love to sound like her, but it hurts. So no movie.

My day was full of scheduling depositions, cancelling depositions, and talking about depositions (I work for a law firm). The only interesting point of my day was talking to my mom on the phone after work.

"I have something that might interest you," she said. Usually, to my mother, something that may interest me is a tidbit of gossip that doesn't in any way interest me. Or, she is telling me about the newest engagement in my tiny hometown. But this time - Mom, you hit it on the head.

My grandmother gave my parents an old typewriter (I think she said a Rembrandt. Anyway, my parents have no use for it and asked if I wanted it. I am so excited. It has its old, original leather case and is in perfect working order. I feel like a real writer. I can't wait to pick it up and begin making stories. That's the problem with my writing. For months, I have been writing diligently, but I haven't been making anything.

My photography professor says all the time that he makes pictures. I thought it was odd at first, but it really is the only way to look at art. If you are just taking pictures, or writing, for that matter, you aren't creating. So now, with new typewriter in tow, I am going to make stories. I'm excited.

But now, 9:30 p.m. at night, (mark it, I think it's a first), I am going to bed to starve my cold. Or, is it feed a cold? I can never remember. Tonight I will just have to dream the stories.

2004-07-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

David Sedaris. Interesting fella. Read his new book of short stories: How to Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. Great stuff. If anyone reads it, please respond. I'd like to know what you think.

This morning, my lovely, lazy Day After Independence Day has been quite busy already at 1:26 p.m. Already I have seen Spiderman 2 (thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed it). However, to parents who allow their children to leave and come back and leave and come back throughout a movie: STOP IT! It's damn annoying and ruins the movie. One of these days...

Once I left the movie, I got in my car expecting tragedy. I was entranced, waiting for Spiderman to appear, lift his mask and kiss me. And then I ran out of gas, which is more tragedy than anything else. (Digression: One of my pet peeves is when people define events as tragedies. A building falling with a baby inside it is not a tragedy. The baby did nothing to aid the building's fall. It is horrible; it's not a tragedy. On the other hand, I allowed my gas tank to get low, aiding in my problem. Tragedy.)

Spiderman appeared in the form of a 50-year old, kindly black man. No mask and no romance, but I am grateful nonetheless. He scolded me for letting my tank get so low and asked if I needed money for gas.

This is the problem with men's thinking: I don't get gas NOT because I don't have money but because I simply hate getting gas. It is a torture beyond tortures. It is a waste of time. It's hot outside. It's smelly. I don't like to. However, after once again running out of gas, I realize that sitting on the side of the road is a waste of time, hot, and now I am smelly. (Well not really smelly, but you get the picture.) No more running out of gas.

2004-06-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

I forgot:

Run mad as often as you choose, but do not faint.

2004-06-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

I am nauseated. I think I lost my floppy disk with my ENTIRE LIFE on it. Well, okay, I am being dramatic. However, this was a newer disk (about six months old) that had all my recent writings on it. My home computer is completely crappy, and I just never got around to saving it anywhere else or emailing it to myself as I am prone to do. I have looked everywhere. I have called home. I went to work, thinking I left it in my drive there. I have yet to find it. This, in turn, caused me to go shopping. I felt a little better, but as soon as I loaded the bags in my car, the aching feeling came back. I need a therapist.

Last night:

I watched Girl With a Pearl Earring with Colin Firth and Charlotte Johanson. I read the book, by Tracy Chevalier this weekend and couldn't put it down. I am also a big Colin Firth fan so I went out and bought the DVD. I even read an article by the author of the book, and she enjoyed the movie. She said that the movie and the book were not identical twins but rather sisters.

Tracy Chevalier: You were being very sweet. The movie, although it had its merits (mainly scenery) did not touch the book in emotion, complexity, and overall, beauty.

I had invited a friend to watch the movie with me. She is one of my few literary friends, and I called her as soon as I finished the book this weekend to tell her she also should read it. By the end of the day, she had picked it up and finished it. [Brava Adrienne!] In the end, it made for a nice evening; however, I am going to stay away from modified-from-book movies for a while.

My annoyance with the movie distracted me from my first and foremost thought. My disk, my writings, ay de mi....

JD - Help with adding links. How to? How to?

2004-05-23T00:24:00.000-07:00

My last day in Italy. I am heading over to Pompeii to check out the ruins. I saved Pompeii for last since it has spurred my dreams of Italy since age 10 when I wanted to be an archaeologist. Appropriate, I think.

My flight leaves at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning. However, the trains do not start running until about 6 a.m. to the airport from the train station so that isn't enough time to be there for two hours check in.

Therefore, I have to leave my luggage at the hotel all day and take the last train of the day at 11:30 p.m. into the airport. So I will be sitting all night in the airport, alone. I am not looking forward to it. However, I finally found a bookstore with some English-language books so I have a Nick Hornby, High Fidelity and a Jonathon Froer, Everything is Illuminated. I have started the former and love it, so hopefully staying awake will not be difficult.

I sat on the Trevi fountain yesterday as the sun was setting, debating on whether I actually wanted to throw coins into the fountain. I love just sitting there. I have been several times, and it is such a great people-watching spot. So I sat there, and I just decided to do it. I looked around (I was afraid I might get arrested for throwing coins in because there didn't seem to be many in the water), and I made my three wishes and tossed. It was such a cliche thing to do, but really, it was great. I felt young, adventurous, confident, and happy.

And then I realized, I am young, adventurous, confident, and happy.

2004-05-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I have updated twice since my last actual post, but I guess my blog isn't working properly.

I am currently back in Rome after a whirlwind through the Cinque Terre, Florence, Milan, Venice, Florence again, and Cortona.

Cortona was by far the best. The views were astounding. Cortona is a Tuscan hill town, and everything just keeps going up. The town itself doesn't allow cars, and it is charming.

There was definitely a sense of community there, and I stood out as a stranger. I met a girl from South Dakota, Courtney, in Venice, and we continued to Cortona together. She traveled with an enormous backpack, and I had a rolling duffel, two shopping bags, a purse, and my two carry ons. Imagine the image the two of us made, curly hair flying. The two odd strangers in town.

Anyway, the entire community seemed to be in the square, and they were all laughing. They asked if we needed help, which we did, and they were so great.

Charming town, charming wine. It was great.

Now I am on the last leg of my trip, and I have mixed feelings. What a time. I have learned so much, been exposed to so much, and still know so little.

I cannot wait to come back.

2004-05-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

This was my second day in Rome. Rome is big. Rome is dirty. Rome is busy. I have seen most of the sights. I went to the Vatican today in a pair of miserable shoes. Then I came back to my room and took a well-deserved nap. Rome is strange in that there is so much to see. It is amazing, and yet, at the same time, I am ready for the slow-paced Italian life I had prepared myself for. I think tomorrow I will visit Tivoli and then leave Rome behind. If I haven't seen anything I can always see it on my last day here.

Also, there is a really cool international photo exhibit here. I am going to check that out right now.

I was kissed in front of the Colliseum. Just a random Roman who thought I was beautiful. These men are overwhelmingly bold. In this instance, the movies prove true.

I don't have much time so I am going to leave this for now. Ciao!

2004-05-10T17:25:00.000-07:00

Great advice from a really great guy:

"Unsolicited advice for your extravaganza...

get up early

take lots of photographs

have a picnic by a river

and on occasion...fuck art and go dance."

I need not say more.