David Sedaris. Interesting fella. Read his new book of short stories: How to Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim. Great stuff. If anyone reads it, please respond. I'd like to know what you think.

This morning, my lovely, lazy Day After Independence Day has been quite busy already at 1:26 p.m. Already I have seen Spiderman 2 (thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed it). However, to parents who allow their children to leave and come back and leave and come back throughout a movie: STOP IT! It's damn annoying and ruins the movie. One of these days...

Once I left the movie, I got in my car expecting tragedy. I was entranced, waiting for Spiderman to appear, lift his mask and kiss me. And then I ran out of gas, which is more tragedy than anything else. (Digression: One of my pet peeves is when people define events as tragedies. A building falling with a baby inside it is not a tragedy. The baby did nothing to aid the building's fall. It is horrible; it's not a tragedy. On the other hand, I allowed my gas tank to get low, aiding in my problem. Tragedy.)

Spiderman appeared in the form of a 50-year old, kindly black man. No mask and no romance, but I am grateful nonetheless. He scolded me for letting my tank get so low and asked if I needed money for gas.

This is the problem with men's thinking: I don't get gas NOT because I don't have money but because I simply hate getting gas. It is a torture beyond tortures. It is a waste of time. It's hot outside. It's smelly. I don't like to. However, after once again running out of gas, I realize that sitting on the side of the road is a waste of time, hot, and now I am smelly. (Well not really smelly, but you get the picture.) No more running out of gas.