Wednesday, January 10, 2007

This, This Right Here

This article is partially why I'm a feminist. In one of the many feminist blogs this past week, someone posted a comment that women are much to quick to call a man a stalker these days. I can't find the comment, but the commenter said that excessive phone calls are just a sign of "interest."

Having been the victim of - count it - more than one stalking episode, let's just say STOP IT. If I state that I am not interested, the phone calls need to stop (especially when I didn't give you the phone number in the first place). If a woman doesn't know who you are and you follow her, it's not ok. It's not healthy interest.

Healthy interest: speaking to a woman. Asking for her phone number (instead of finding it through alternative means or asking a friend). Introducing yourself. Knowing when to stop.

I think it's an interesting dichotomy that women are considered "crazy," "psychotic," and "deranged" so easily but men are "showing interest." Bull shit. It's scary, and it's wrong. And, as the chief of police in my city has told me, as he was part of the sex crimes division, this behavior typically escalates. In lesser instances, it causes women to screen each and every phone call. In other cases, it causes women to constantly check over their shoulders and walk to their vehicles with mace in hand. In sad and horrible instances, such as the linked article, it can end in murder.

Think about it the next time you dismiss stalking as "showing interest."

1 comment:

thegirlfrommarz said...

It's amazing how this behaviour is considered "romantic" and "sweet" in men, but "deranged" and "desperate" in women. People are willing to write off all but the most blatantly threatening behaviour from men as "showing interest", when as you say, it has been proven that in many cases this sort of behaviour can escalate into violence. As has often been observed, what's presented as passionate and sweet in romantic comedies would be stalking in real life...